I wrote this poem as resident poet for Weekend on the BBC World Service to mark Pope Benedict’s trip to Britain in 2010.   

Encyclica Britannica

Saluto populi.
Orbi et urbi.
Disturbi et perturbi.

Et tu Britannia.
Tua culpa.
Quo vadis?
Ad hoc?
Ad liberalismus?
Ad secularismus?
Ad egalitismus aggressivemus?

Habemus Papam,
Pontifex Maximus,
Capo di Tutti
Cardinales.

Pontifico,
dogmatico

contra homosexualismus
et matrimonia samesexismus,

contra contraceptum
et condominium
in Africanium,

pro status quo.
contra quid pro quo,

pro chastitum
et celibatum.

Et paedophilio?
Mortificato
et discombobulato.
Convocato et censura
in camera obscura.

Et ultimato, declarato:
Anglicanis Prodigalis,
reverto ad Papa,
ad paterfamilias.
Ego Benedict.
Ego veritas.
Papa Benny
est infallibus.


  • Audio broadcast of the poem on the The World Today (now Weekend) on the BBC World Service on 18 September 2010:    
  • A video version of the BBC broadcast with subtitles: