The Secretaries For Stating

Poem broadcast on 12 March 2011 on The World Today on BBC World Service.

We're the Secretaries for Stating
in our Sunday morning sweaters.
Now, we're issuing a call
for an orderly transition
to a newly held position:
We no longer back the sinners.

Let us dare to meet the winners.
We'll send in our foreign legion
but there'll be misunderstandings.
Hmm, perhaps it would be better
not to travel to the region.

We propose a no-die zone
and a roadmap to restraint.
We do not condone dictators.
Some last minute modulations
to that closely-scripted statement
will be circulated later.

Yes, we're the pros at promulgating
with our monumental utterings,
our syncopated mutterings,
our calibrated flutterings,
our finely-crafted splutterings,
our tut tut tut tut tutterings.

The kings of indignating.

We're the Secretaries for Stating.

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